When the going gets tough…

she will move mountians

I’ve never been one to shy away from challenges. In fact, I kinda crave them. I like the energy of trying something new, or having a deadline, or pushing myself to an edge I haven’t seen before. But I have to say, lately I have had some challenges that I could do without. Like bronchitis, I could surely do without bronchitis.

I have been thinking a lot about life lately, as I tend to do. I have been thinking about all of the choices, decisions, paths one can take. Each one has it’s challenges, and it’s rewards, and none is better than the other I suppose, just different. And different is surely ok. Different is good.

But sometimes, often, being different, going against the mainstream, is a challenge all in itself. It can be so much easier to conform, do what is socially “normal”, do what doesn’t cause questioning, and need explaining.

I’m rambling a bit, I realize. It’s just that lately I have been feeling so vulnerable. Ever since making my decision to pursue homeschooling, ever since stepping back into my business, ever since making public the struggles we are having to conceive, ever since laying it all out on the line. And being sick doesn’t help. Surely my body feeling weak, and tired, and generally yucky, is not giving me much emotional strength. So what am I doing right now when the going is tough? I’m going to bed.

Or trying to at least. Trying to sleep early, and wake each morning with a fresh start. Trying to heal my body and mind with sweet surrender. Trusting that in time, all things will unfold beautifully. Living life with this trust is a daily practice. One that I am sometimes pretty good at, and sometimes not at all. But one foot in front of the other, even if only in my dreams right now, and soon I think I will be strong enough to move these mountains.

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