Getting Down to Business

E’s taking a late nap today. In part, because I’m working on slowly weaning him, and have high hopes of teaching him how to fall asleep without a boob in his mouth. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.

So now it’s time to get down to business. Like last week, I have a list of things to do a mile long. But I know that I have time for maybe just one thing. So this is what I am choosing. This and sipping a hot cup of tea. (Hold on a sec I have to go make it!)

Ok, now I’m ready. (Thanks for waiting.) I’ve realized something in the past week. Or really, I guess I have been realizing it little by little over a long stretch of time now. Like 19 months of time. Being a mom and being a business owner is really, really hard. I had visions of a simple life, seeing a few clients, teaching a few classes, doing what I do here and there, all the while meeting my baby’s every need. The truth is there are way too many things to do, emails to respond to, computer graphics to design, marketing to figure out, phone calls to make, calendars to be arranged, and meetings to be attended, for this to be simple. Or easy. Or the blissful relaxed lifestyle I envisioned it to be. But… it’s what I love, so I keep on keeping on (as my dad would say).

I’m learning, and I’m letting go. Not everything is getting done at the pace I would like for it to. Not every project is coming to completion. Certain things are taking priority, and others are falling away, despite my love for them. I’m doing what this sweet card one of my dear mama friends gave to me says I can do.

prioritize my intentions

Funny that it sits next to this chakra card, which I have had on my fridge for no less than 3 years. Be creative. Prioritize my intentions. Simplify. And so I am spending nap time writing to you, instead of answering emails, or making phone calls, or planning next months calendar. But this is the part of my business that I love. I love creating, and connecting. So when I feel unsure, or pressured, or stressed by any of the other demands having a small business comes with, I come back here. I come back to my love. I get down to business by getting back to me, and my family, and why I am doing all of this in the first place.

E just woke up, and needed a snuggle. He’s back down now, and might stay there for another hour… tops. I’m grateful that I am here to meet that need of his. I admire you working moms, who are away all day, and then come home to all the demands of family and home, and who seem to strike a balance in doing all of that. I know that you need care and support, and moments to yourself. I admire you stay at home moms, who have the house clean, and supper made, and laundry folded. I know that you need care, and support, and moments to yourself. And I admire myself, and other the other in-betweeners, who make it work to be home, and be employed in some way, who revel in precious moments, and bring home a little piece of the bacon. We need care, and support, and moments to ourselves too. In the end we are all getting down to business, whatever the business of our life looks like. I’m hoping that my little business will help to support you, give you those moments, help you to prioritize your intentions, and be creative.

And I hope that whatever your business may look like, you have an office mate as helpful as mine. (She’s actually quite good at paper shredding) 🙂

office mate

And before I leave you for the day, I have to let you know an exciting new development! Beginning in February I am going to be contributing to an awesome site for local mamas, the Boston Mom’s Blog. And though their site is not yet ready, you can check them out here on Facebook and stay tuned to see my writing featured there. 🙂

Settle In For the Season

The wind is fiercely dancing past my windows as I sit to write this. The trees are barren after their final showing of life and vibrance. The ground is hardening, and winter, she is coming.

November always brings with it a certain feeling of settling, at least for us New Englanders. It’s time to cozy up our dens, build a fire, and hunker down for what is likely to be a long winter. At this time of year, it’s possibly to feel ok with that, especially if we have soaked in plenty of summer sun, and autumn warmth. We know that winter is just a season, and in time she will pass.

I’m settling in in many ways right now. Yes, the heat is turned on, soup is on my stove almost everyday, and my big comfy sweaters have made their way back into my closet. I’m ready for the time of year. But I’m also settling into a time of life, a season in itself. I’m finally settling into motherhood in a way that feels good, and right.

Let me explain…

After last year’s whirlwind of birthing a baby, and opening a new business, then slowly realizing that it all was too much… I’m taking a gentler approach. I’m (trying) (very hard) to let go of my ego, my need to be, and do, and achieve more. I’m letting myself adopt the mantra of “good, is good enough”. And in very practical matters, since I am unable to massage right now, I am taking a part-time job, at a nursery school.

In some ways this feel like a hundred steps back. Like something I would have done when I was in college, or high school,  not now with a bachelor’s degree, hundreds of hours in specialized training, and the experience of successfully being my own boss. But in other ways, this feels like a huge step forward, and a perfect place to be right now. It’s a good job, and good is good enough.

Right now my attention, my time, and energy, is flowing in all directions towards my family, and my own self care. I know that these early years of making, growing, and caring for babies are unique. I know that many women jump right back into their normal lives after having a baby, but I also know that many women face crippling health issues from burn out and exhaustion. I have been on the verge of these health issues due to my own ambition and drive, but I have finally given myself permission, and the necessary support, to stop.

Settling in carries with it a certain sadness. In November we in the northern hemisphere mourn the loss of our daylight, our warmth. As mothers we may mourn the loss of our former selves. The selves that could work a 10-hour a day job, and still have energy to exercise, go out with friends, and keep up with all of life’s demands. However we all must remember that this is just a season. This winter, this time of life, it will pass. How we spend it is what is of most importance. How we choose to play in this life is what really matters.

I’m choosing warm slippers, and cozy blankets, fires built, and soups cooked lovingly. I’m choosing self-care, and simplicity, work that is satisfying but not overly demanding, and time with my babies. I’m settling in, to enjoy all that I am blessed with. I hope that whatever season you are in, you are able to do the same.

family fox costume