No Greater Love

Mother’s Day has always had special meaning to me. The idea of celebrating a job so big on just one day is both absurd and beautiful. It feels as though when I was a child I recognized the enormity of being a mother, the selfless service, the patience, the love. My own mother is a tremendous example of all of these things, and I always felt that there were not enough gifts, nor enough time in a day, to adequately express gratitude for this. But now, as a mother myself on this day, I recognize, the gift is the love itself. The love of a child.

I’ve spent a lot of time these past few months, this past year, reflecting on my journey of motherhood. It hasn’t been easy in any sense of the word, and yet it has been absolutely miraculous. From the very moment of conception, to the labor of birth, to the years of sleepless nights and half asleep days, motherhood is hard. But then… the love. The tiny hand holding your finger, the head laid on your chest in complete surrender and comfort, the arms that would wrap around you twice if they could. The looks of joy, heartache, surprise, mischief. The words “mama”, and “I love you” spoken by a tiny voice. There is no greater love.

I’m feeling oh so grateful on this Mother’s Day. Grateful for the experience of being a mama. Grateful for my own mother who has shown me, led me by example of her grace. Grateful for all of the women who have mothered me in some way, and the women whom I have shared my journey of motherhood with. Grateful for my son, who made me a mama. And, grateful for the blessing of getting to do it all over again. ­čÖé (That’s right! success!!)

This day is bittersweet for so many as we honor the women in our lives who live up to this title of “mother”. Many are here with us, many are not. Many embody this title in every way, yet remain childless. To these especially my heart is with you today. May hope and love always reside in your hearts. And if you are a woman who has ever nurtured anybody, in any way, ┬ácelebrate yourself. Happy Mother’s Day to you.

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Baby!!!! @ 8 weeks. Healthy ultrasound.

Farewell 2015!

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New Year’s Eve has always been one of my favorite holidays. Before we had a baby, we would always throw a big party for all of our friends. Now, we celebrate on a smaller scale, but it’s still just as much fun.

2015 has been a year of change and challenge for me. I’ve tried on new hats, and ultimately decided they didn’t fit. I’ve wished and prayed for new life to take root, and though it didn’t in the way I wanted or expected, it has in a way that is better than I could have imagined.

I’m happy to say farewell to 2015, and to let go with it some of the things that have been taking up space in my heart and mind.

I’m letting go of:┬á

Expectation

Judgement

Fear

Lack

I’m inviting in:┬á

Simplicity.

That’s it. Simplicity. It’s my word for 2016.

Changes are afoot once more, but mostly I’m changing back into who I have always been. I am accepting my gifts and talents, and honoring their true value.

New Year’s Eve is a time to look back, but mostly, to look forward. I’m looking forward to this next year of life with a sense of gratitude, because my world is already so full of love, and joy, and peace. I hope yours is too.

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