Building an Empire

img_1402 img_1404 img_1407 img_1408 img_1410Today is our first day home alone together. Daddy is back at work, and big brother is with grandma for the day. We are taking it slow and easy. D is a cat napper, and constant nurser, which means a whole lot of not much else gets done. But that’s ok right? That’s what this time is for.

I have been feeling anxious lately. Anxious about what life is going to be like… a newborn, an energetic three year old, and a second baby to take care of in the mix. It’s going to be a little crazy for sure. I’ve felt my anxiety turn to grasping at times. Grasping for control, order, calm. But really, are those things so important?  I doubled up on therapy appointments last week to try and preemptively get a handle on my stuff. But what I learned from said therapy is a. My stuff is normal, and b. I’m totally capable of dealing with things as they arise, and worrying about them before they do arise is pointless. Also c. The best takeaway from our couples session was when our therapist enthusiastically looked at us and said, “this is so exciting, you guys are building an empire!”.

So, yes. We two normal parents, like so many others in the world, are doing the important work of building an empire. In the day to day of meals and bedtimes, diapers and laundry, discipline and play, stories and snuggles, we are creating and shaping the future members of our world. And it’s nothing to be anxious about, it’s just something to enjoy, and maybe even be proud of.

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For a Limited Time Only

These nights,

these sleepless nights,

these nights of needing

wanting,

crying for closeness.

These nights of cuddling,

warm bodies held close,

for comfort, for hunger, for whatever it might be.

These nights will not last forever.

 

These days,

these unpredictable days,

these days of following each cue, each signal,

chasing a little body,

chasing some kind of order, routine,

chasing some kind of normalcy,

only for it to change.

These days of laughter,

and play,

days of endless exertion.

These days will not last forever.

 

These moments,

these moments of doubt,

anxiety,

exhaustion,

fear,

hope,

trust,

and utter, unbelievable LOVE,

are here for a limited time only.

 

As we all are.

As all things must be.

Be present with them.

All of them.

Do not push one away for the other.

Welcome each moment, each feeling, each part of the experience, for what it is.

Something that is here for a limited time only.

rainbow wrap love