Back to School Vibes

Lunch box. Check.

New clothes. Check.

Milk stash in the freezer. Check.

Cute bag to store the pump in. Check.

Nanny schedule. Grandma schedule. Pizza Friday form. Check. Check. Check.

Its almost here. The first day of school. Many of you have had it already. I’m still in this weird phase of shock and awe. 6 months ago I would never have guessed we’d be here. But we’re here. Dream job, dream school, my big boy and I starting our next new adventure, together.

The classroom is prepped. E is excited. D is old enough that I don’t feel completely terrible leaving him. All the ducks are in a row. 🦆🦆🦆

And yet there is this lingering feeling of sadness. Of “Wait! Not yet! Not us!”.

Parent night is tonight. I’ll be helping out in my classroom, presenting to new and returning parents. Hubby will represent our fam in E’s classroom. I’ll look at the anxious eyes of mums and dads across from me, wanting to know all the important details of what their child’s day will be like, wanting to know that Rita will have the chance to play in the sandbox, and Miley will have someone to remind her to eat her carrots, and Jo will have someone to hold his hand down the stairs because he still has wobbly legs. And I hope they will look at my eyes and see the same worry, but also the reassurance that yes, I will be there for your child when you are not. I will smile at them when they do something challenging and new for the first time.  I will comfort them when they feel lonely and out of sorts. I will help them navigate new friendships. And I will trust that the teachers in E’s room and the nanny at home with D will do the same for them.

I’m not really ready for this day. But through all of my years teaching, I know I never really could be. It’s exciting, and scary, and new, and emotional, and I am open to it all.

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This Month at Home – July 2017

IMG_3855 IMG_3870 IMG_3900 IMG_3921 IMG_3944 IMG_4014 IMG_4114 IMG_4124 IMG_0536 IMG_4147Oh the bliss of summer! It’s hard to believe July is almost over, and yet, this is how it happens every year. Late June days roll into weeks of adventures and fun, nights camping under starry skies, listening to the strings of banjos, birthday celebrations, and evening hikes up the mountain. And as the heat waves of mid-summer settle in, we find ourselves grateful, and craving repose all at the same time.

My goal this summer has been to stay present. To soak in every moment with my little family, all our togetherness, the fun, the meltdowns, everything. Soak in the reality of this life,  disconnect from the subjective reality of media, and breathe. So far, so good.

Today for the first time ever someone stopped me in a tiny store in a tiny town outside of our hometown, and told me she recognized me from my blog. She said she loved reading and that I should keep it going. It was lovely, a fellow mama, an average everyday person just like me, someone I wouldn’t necessarily have spoken with otherwise, but there we were, connected. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from this space.

My sharing has been slow lately. Because, you know…life, and two kids. But also because I’ve been feeling unsure of what to say, what’s my message. I have changed in so many ways in the past few years. I am no longer self employed. I don’t want to sell anyone anything. I don’t feel like I necessarily have any great words of wisdom. I’m not here to tell you how you should live your life. Mostly I’m just here to somewhat document mine. And to connect. Real life connection feels like a really valuable goal right now.

So, thank you to that mama at the market today. Thank you for stopping me as I negotiated with my four year old about pouring a growler of kombucha. Thank you for reaching out and saying hi, for making what is so often an invisible connection, a real one. I’ve been feeling really shy of social media, and even this blog lately, but still I am pulled to show up. So thank you for making me feel like my voice is heard, and valued. I really would love to hear your voices too!

So I’ve got a question for ya…what kind of connection are you craving right now? How do you want to be seen, heard, witnessed? Leave a comment, even if it’s just to say hi 👋 ☺️.

Oh, and if you want to check out the little video I made about our yearly trip to the Greyfox Bluegrass Festival, here it is.